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Hey reindeer man, got a delivery for the Tigers?

by J.R. Moorhead
Special to the Tri-State Defender

 
 Chris Crawford of the Memphis Tigers rejects this shot by Jordan Burgason of Lipscomb during the Tigers’ 85-75 triumph at the FedExForum on Monday. (Photos by Warren Roseborough)
 
 Antonio Barton (right) of The Tigers scores over Damarius Smith of Lipscomb.

Dear Santa,

I’m writing you on behalf of The University of Memphis Tigers, who most recently defeated the Bison of David Lipscomb University (85-75) to improve to 6-4 on the year.

With the holidays fast approaching, Memphis will fly up north, but not quite as far north as you, to face the Georgetown Hoyas for the second time this season. The Tigers lost to the Hoyas in Maui in overtime by a score of 91 to 88.

So far this season the Tigers have not lived up to the preseason expectations and I was hoping you would read my letter and consider bringing Memphis a few of the things they need for the rest of the year.

Firstly, I’ll ask for something for Coach Josh Pastner because he will need his before the actual big day on Sunday (Dec. 25). The Tigers face off against the No. 16-ranked Hoyas on Thursday (Dec. 22). Coach Pastner has done a great job so far in his tenure as the Memphis head coach, but he has never defeated a top 25 team and now would be the perfect time for a big road win for the ailing Tigers.

Next, Tarik Black, Ferrakhon Hall and Stan Simpson are all big guys, but I don’t think they are as big as the roster proclaims. Black is listed as 6’8” and the announcer calls him as 6’9” during the starting lineup, but I not convinced.  The guy can jump out of the gym, but when he is matched up against a true 6’9” he doesn’t seem to fit the bill. The same goes for Hall (6’8”) and Simpson (6’10”).  If you could give these guys the actual height that they are listed, or even an extra inch or two, Memphis fans would be sure to be nice all year round.

And while we are on the height subject, let’s make the transition into weight.  I know you are a delightfully plump man yourself, but Will Barton and Joe Jackson could use a few extra pounds if you don’t mind.  Barton has done a great job crashing the boards this year averaging just under 10 rebounds a game, but a few extra pounds would help him move a few more bodies out of the lane and perhaps start averaging a double-double.  

Jackson, on the other hand, doesn’t need too many extra pounds because his speed is a great asset, but sometimes I think I’m looking at a high school player and not a sophomore in college. So, when you are delivering all those toys Christmas Eve maybe you don’t have to eat all those cookies and you can bring a few back to Memphis.   

Also, I know you are good with paper work because you keep up with the Naughty and Nice list all year, so there is one issue I would ask you to resolve. Charles Carmouche has been sidelined now for a couple of weeks and even though Coach Pastner has said it is strictly an internal matter and not a knee injury, I’m not so sure.  I believe the issue has something to do with the NCAA, and if Carmouche was to play Memphis could be in hot water. So, could you please straighten out his paperwork and get him back on the court as soon as possible.  Especially, since the Tigers are hurting for senior leadership and it never hurts to have another great shooter at our disposal.

Lastly, our other senior, Wesley Witherspoon, is in bad need of some new gym shorts. I don’t know if you have seen any games this year, but his shorts are almost as tall as Joe Jackson.  I’m not saying that you have to bring him gym shorts that are 70’s short, but just some that fit him a little better and don’t look like Capri pants.

I know you are a busy man and this letter is a little short notice, but if you could bring a few of these things to Memphis you would brighten the rest of the holiday season and the beginning of next year for thousands of people. With only a few non-conference games left, the Tigers are about to get into the heart of their season and it will be time for them to be playing at their highest level.

Thanks,

True Blue Nation

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