Dear Lucy: I am 16 years old and I live at home with my parents and little sister who is 12. My Auntie reads your article and told me to write to you. I used to have ADD and took Ritalin. I got sick of it and don't take it any more. Don't have a lot of crazy, stupid, impulse stuff anymore but there is one thing that I can't seem to fix. It drives me and my parents nuts. I am simply not a responsible person. Most of the time what I get fussed about is not being responsible. I get mad at them and mad at myself. Any tips?
– Mr. Irresponsible
Dear Precious One: I refuse to address you as "Irresponsible." And I urge you to never, ever talk ugly to yourself with negative labels. The greatest power we each have is the ability to choose how we will think. And the most important thoughts are the ones we think about ourselves!
Dear Lucy: I divorced my husband ten years ago. We have one child and now he is seventeen. His father has never paid child support and I have never done anything about it because I can usually handle everything myself. However, when I really need his help and ask, he knows how to push my buttons, make me mad and I walk away angry and empty handed. He has never done anything for our son willingly and makes me feel guilty for asking by telling me about the last time he gave me money. Now, my son doesn't even want to ask for anything. Senior year is coming up and I can really use the help. How can I get different results?
Dear Buttons: Our emotions can work for or against us. Could it be that one of the buttons he pushes is the one called pride and unforgiveness? These two states can make us very emotional.
First there is the pride that made you think you didn't need or want his help so you decided not to legally enforce his responsibility to provide support for his child. Second, when we wallow in unforgiveness, it's hard to be civil. And here is something about forgiveness that we need to remember. To forgive a person does not mean that we let them go free. It means that we let ourselves go free. We become free enough to think rationally and without cloudy emotions.
Dear Lucy: I work for a company where I get to see a lot of what really goes on because my job is at a low level in the organization. People assume that I am not paying attention because of my status. But I do. What I see is a lot of backbiting, meanness, lying, frustration and little respect for the customer, the boss or each other. I try to be a pleasant team player. My efforts don't really matter. I need my job but enough is enough. I am feeling tainted by all the negativity. What can I do to stay in the saddle?
– Rough Rider
Dear Rough Rider: Sounds to me like everybody is having a rough ride! Here are some things to consider.
If this has been going on longer than three years, chances are it will not change without a drastic change in leadership. You don't control that.
Sometimes, no matter how pleasant we may be, a spirit of anger and resentment when anchored, will not be pulled up by one person's attempts to be nice. You don't control that.
The new bible epic "Noah" hit theaters nationwide Friday amid a storm of controversy.
The $130 million film, directed by Darren Aronofsky, starring Oscar winners Russell Crowe, Anthony Hopkins, and Jennifer Connelly, has received a flood of criticism from Christian leaders who say the director has taken too many liberties with religious scripture.
"Noah" offers a unique interpretation of the timeless Biblical tale of the flood that destroyed all mankind while Noah's ark prevailed through it all.
Dear Lucy: Is it my imagination or is there a new level of interest in things that pertain to women? Everywhere I look, there is something about women's rights or beauty or abuse. There is just so much attention on women now. I don't know whether to be sad or glad. What is going on?
– Confused Woman
Dear Confused Woman: I notice it too. But what I see looks like a long overdue push back.
There is nothing new about feminism and there have been lots of myths around about what it means to be a feminist. To stand up for equal treatment of women does not mean that you have to be female or gay, or liberal or support abortion or atheists or any thing of the sort. I think it is simply enough to expect to be treated respectfully, to be treated equally and to be able to speak your mind without fear of censure.
Rev. Elaine Sanford to keynote Women's Day at St. John Baptist Church
The Rev. Elaine Y. Sanford, who has provided outreach ministry and support services to needy women and children for 20-plus years, will be the keynote speaker as St. John Baptist Church hosts its Annual Women's Day program on Sunday (March 23rd).
The Women's Day service begins at 3 p.m. at the church at 640 Vance Ave. Rev. Sanford is an active minister at Mississippi Boulevard Christian Church (The Blvd). in Memphis, Tennessee.
St. John's Women's Chorus will provide the music, with a reception to follow the program in the A. McEwen Fellowship Hall. The program is coordinated by Sandra Cohns-Jones, chairperson, and Carolyn A. Simms, co-chairperson. The Rev. Henry L. Key is the host-pastor.
Sometimes, a sister has to kiss a lot of frogs before finding her soul mate. In Dr. Nazaree Hines-Starr's case, she had to date a lot of "scumbags," as she puts it.
As a black woman, she had trouble meeting single guys who were at her level "emotionally, academically or professionally. Unfortunately, most of the available African-American men she met "had managed to waste years that should have been spent in college or developing a career, chasing skirts, getting arrested, or playing video games."
Moreover, many had "accumulated baggage" such as "rap sheets" and "baby-mama drama." And even the rare brother who had his act together was never serious about settling down and starting a family.