Thu04242014

Opinion

‘I lost my job and I am MAD!’

A young man called me recently to talk about his job situation. This guy had unfinished business with his former employer and it was sticking in his gut. 
 
 Lucy Shaw

A young man called me recently to talk about his job situation. He was laid off from a really good-paying position six months ago and although he has found a new position (not quite as good as the old one), he is still upset about the job he lost.  

The job involved a massive lay-off that was handled very poorly. In fact, the employees were informed by phone. Usually, people want to talk about not having a job.  But this young man was concerned about his unresolved feelings toward his former employer.  

Now it’s easy to be judgmental and say that he should be happy that he has found replacement work. But, a job is no different from any other relationship in our lives.  How often do we break up with a girlfriend or spouse and carry around baggage that we know is harmful to us and just can’t figure out how to get rid of it. The hurt is very tangible and can affect everything we do!  

This guy had unfinished business with his former employer and it was sticking in his gut, just eating away at his love for himself because he honestly thought that he should be able to get rid of the pain.  

So what can he do?

1. Tell the truth to himself about how he really feels. In circumstances such as this we frankly feel BIG anger, resentment, hurt, and that we have been treated unjustifiably badly! We feel that we simply didn’t deserve what happened. It doesn’t matter whether these feelings are reasonable or true. The fact is that it’s what we feel and those feelings need to be acknowledged and handled!  In privacy, cry it out, scream it out and just do whatever it takes to feel it and release it as long as you don’t physically harm yourself or anyone else. The problem is that he never got to say what he wanted to those who hurt him. In fact, he probably would not have said it to them. But, the burden of feeling it is heavy!

2. Make a decision to be willing to see this entire event as an opportunity rather than a failure or injustice.  Perhaps it is an opportunity to learn something new, whether it is a new job, emotional, or thinking skills. Once you let go of the anger and pain, you can begin to look for the newness that this has brought into your life.  

3. Do a gratitude inventory. What has this experience caused you to do, be, have and feel differently? You get to create the view into the looking glass. In fact, stand in front of the mirror and have a conversation with yourself about who you are, how much you appreciate who you are and what you are about, and how strong you have actually been while going through this ordeal. Admit that you have put your best foot forward and done the very best you could and will continue to do just that.
    
There are other strategies for dealing with this sort of thing that you can email me about at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . But this is a great beginning for your healing.

Here’s to you in the looking glass,

Lucy

(Check out Lucy Shaw’s website at http://www.heartworks4u.com.  You may send your questions to her by US mail to: Heartworks4U, LLC; 4646 Poplar Ave. Ste 201, Memphis, TN 38117 or by e-mail to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .)

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