06 Aug 2013
- Written by Alexis Garrett Stodghill/The Grio
Iyanla Vanzant is making yet another splash with a video that has gone viral due to her special brand of wisdom. Calling black women "out of order," the self-help guru spoke to web site Madame Noire on her concerns with the mental and emotional wounds black women accept from others – and mutually inflict.
Fresh off discussing her OWN special "Daddyless Daughters" on the Melissa Harris-Perry show, in which she examines the psychological issues of women growing up without fathers, Vanzant made these statements to specifically address the persistent difficulties of African-American women.
"We have such a rich culture, as women in this country, descendants of the parent race of humanity," Vanzant told Madame Noire. "We have such a rich culture, and in that culture, there are roles and purposes, and powers, and we live in a society now where women are commodities, where women are demeaned, diminished, demoralized in ways that we accommodate. And if we really understood who we are as feminine representations of the creator of the universe, some of the things we experience in life, like crying when the unemployed boo boo leaves us, and we really understood who we are, we wouldn't be so apt to let other people define us, and confine us. We are out of order!"
Black women rendered spiritually sick
Vanzant decried the fact that black women allow men and other people to treat them in ways that render them "mentally, emotionally, and spiritually sick."
But, she also called on African-American women to accept responsibility for the fact that, by having children out of wedlock with men who are not ready to be fathers and partners, they are perpetuating a vicious cycle.
"We're out of order – let me just go right ahead and say it, let me just ask forgiveness now," she said, "there's no reason for us to continue to have children with men who don't honor us and don't take care of their children. Out of order!"
Betrayals between black women?
In addition, Vanzant chided black women who "dishonor, betray, and defile one another."
Women have supported her through life's difficulties, not men, so it is unimaginable to Vanzant that black women so often, in her opinion, are their worst enemies.
"Sleep with your sister's husband! What? Pluck your eye out right now," she said of one example of what to her is a prevalent trend.
Check out the video: